Turkey Time

Wow, it's been awhile...

Poor Elliot is getting impatient about Thankgiving. I deliberated yesterday if I wanted to put it upon myself to bake a pumpkin pie (not my favorite, personally -- but a dietary requirement for Brad). But once we got to HEB, I gave Elliot the option of helping me bake, or just buying one at the bakery, and - hallelujah - he picked the ones that were already made (featuring coupon for free Redi-Whip!).

So now we have this pie staring us in the face for another 24 hours before we're supposed to dig in. We just barely resisted last night, after the kids went to bed. Today, Elliot approached me no less than 3 or 4 times and said, very seriously: "Mommy, I just want to eat that pie."

I came upstairs to IM Brad about this, and next thing I know, Elliot has toted the pie upstairs so he can study it through its packaging. Then he suddenly grabs his guitar and breaks into song, singing the praises of eating turkey and pie. I can't make this stuff up!

Hooligans

From July-Aug08

Click to play video... it's a shame the video quality is so crappy online, some of Audrey's expressions are really priceless!

The Joy of Music

In June we went to Auntie Jennifer and Big Jeff's wedding in Chicago, at a very old and beautifully ornate Catholic church. At the back of the church on the balcony was a massive pipe organ. Little did we know this would turn out to be the highlight of Elliot's trip to Chicago. He was so fascinated with it that at the wedding rehearsal, he walked down the aisle backward just so that he could see it. Luckily he managed to properly perform his duty during the ceremony!

Well, here we are one month later and he is STILL talking about that organ. Last week he led me into his room to show off the homage he has built out of blocks. It's on his nightstand, and he now closes the door to his room everyday so that Audrey won't go in and destroy his creation.

For reference, the structure on the left is the "little pipe organ" that was in the front of the church, and "big pipe organ" is the one on the right.

Happy Feet

I forget to make notes about Audrey. This is the funniest thing about her right now:

Audrey has a sock fetish.

A few months ago, we bought a small assortment of Blue's Clues and Sesame Street character socks from the dollar bin at Target (thanks for the tip, Aunt Lindsay!). It's too hot to wear them during the day, so I use them at night to bribe Audrey into getting her jammies on. I'll grab a pair, say, "Look Audrey - sockies!!" and she'll come running and plop down in my lap. I'll get her dressed and finish by slipping on the socks. She'll stand up, bend over to see which "friend" is looking up at her from her feet, and do a happy dance. She is such a funny little thing.

Miracles

Today we had a therapy appointment that had been rescheduled from Wednesday, so the waiting room was full of new people. Elliot plopped down next to an older boy and immediately introduced himself with a "Hey dude! What's your name?" His mom chuckled and started talking to me about the kids when I sat down next to Elliot. I came to find out that her son, who is now 11, was born at 22 weeks. He had heart surgery the day after he was born, and stomach surgery after that, among other things. I was completely flabbergasted -- I didn't realize babies that young could make it, especially 11 years ago; and also that he didn't seem to have any noticeable delays (obviously he's in either physical or occupational therapy if he was there, but seemed like an average boy otherwise). His mom said he spent 6 months in the NICU, and that she'd gladly go through it all again for him. What a miracle.

I wanted to hug the mom, and hug my kids. We are SO fortunate to have had boring pregnancies, births, and such a minor issue to deal with in Elliot.

Round and Round

Elliot has reached this uber-annoying stage where conversations go in circles, as if I'm talking to an 80-yr-old man with Alzheimers:

E, as we drive past a construction site: "What's that over there?"

Me: "A giant drill"

E: "Oh, that's cool. What does it do?"

Me: "It's for drilling big holes into the ground for a new building"

E: "What drills holes?"

Me: "The drill"

E: "What drill?"

AAUUGGH!

And so it begins.

Bathtime tonight...
E: "Mommy, when I tooted in the water, bubbles came out the back of my butt! Is that funny?!"

Elliot's Commandments

I just sent Elliot off to school. On his way out the door, I gave him a hug and kiss tried to to add a brief behavior pep talk.

Me: "Okay Elliot, have fun, are you going to be a good friend today?"
E: "Yup!"
Me:"And what should we NOT do at school?"
E: "Don't hit, don't kick, don't throw Goldfish..."
Me:"... don't say mean things..."
E: "And don't say F**KIN."

Siren in training

Little Commander

I have always wondered what goes on in the period of time between closing the door for naptime, and when he actually surrenders to sleep. Today I got a small glimpse.

I went in Elliot's room to wake him up and found him in the fetal position. He was now wearing a necktie, and surrounded by an army of rubber lizards and bugs on his bed [It was much funnier before I took this picture - he rolled over when I ran to get the camera]. I wonder if he gave them orders before he drifted off.

Hard to hold a grudge

This morning we went to Elliot's therapy and then to the Y. We ended up leaving abruptly because Elliot got into a tiff with another boy, and then got sassy with the staff when they put him in time out. Uh uh, doesn't fly anymore... playtime's over.

I was stern with him in the car, and as I stewed during the drive home, Audrey didn't help things by starting to scream -- it was close to naptime; she was refusing a paci and her drinks and snacks were long gone. I yelled back to Elliot to try making her laugh. He attempted his usual repertoire of silly talk and failed.

Then, in a very quiet voice, he started singing to her:
"Close your eyes, please don't cry, quiet baby, lullabye"

After he repeated the tune a few times, Audrey was quiet. My eyes welled up with tears. How could he go from being so hateful earlier to this angelic display of concern for his sister?

He claims he just made the song up. Wherever it came from, I think it was the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

Respect your elders

We were in HEB today, looking for laundry detergent, when an elderly couple shuffled past us, fixated on their grocery list. The woman had an interesting hair color, as old ladies sometimes do -- perhaps her hair used to be naturally red, but now it was dyed more of a bright orange. This could not go unnoticed by Elliot. He stood up in the cart and broadcast:

"Mommy! Check out that lady's crazy hair!"

The nice thing about old people? I don't think they heard him.

Night visitors

Elliot has been on an imaginary friend kick for awhile now. He has a friend named "Duvvy" (I don't know what he's trying to say, but that's what the name sounds like), who has a cat named Floffy. Recently he told me, after a vague-yet-brief conversation about death, that Duvvy died because he got too old, and so now he will talk specifically about Old Duvvy or New Duvvy.

Anyway, we haven't heard much about either Duvvy lately, but he has some new invisible friends. Elliot has become smitten with our old MST3K tapes -- he doesn't have the slightest idea what's going on, but LOVES the host segments with the 'bots, and also the sequences of opening/closing doors. So now, he hangs out with Tom, Crow, and Joel.

The other night I tucked him into bed, but heard him screwing around up there later so I went up to check on him. He was babbling away, so I opened his door, and instead of brusquely telling him to be quiet as I'm prone to do, I asked, "Hey Elliot, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, hehe, Tom and Crow and Joel are here. I heard them outside, they climbed up the wall with suction cups."

"Oh, okay," I said. "Well, you need to tell your friends it's time to go to sleep."

Elliot leans over and whispers to his trouble-making buddies. He has made them a nest of blankets and pillows at the end of his own bed.

"Goodnight Elliot." I start to slip out the door.

"Mommy? You need to say goodnight to Tom and Crow. And Joel doesn't feel good, you need to give him a kiss and a hug."

Yes, my dreams have come true -- I got to kiss Joel goodnight!

Don't ask, don't tell

This morning we pulled into the parking lot for Elliot's therapy session. It's located in a strip mall, up the sidewalk from an Army recruiting station. A soldier will often be standing out front talking on a cel phone or smoking. Today, it was the latter.
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I turned off the car and hit the button to automatically open Elliot's door as I got out. He immediately points and yells, "MOMMY, LOOK! THAT GUY HAS SOMETHING ICKY!!"

I guess I've taught him well on that one.

Preach it, sister

Kind of off-topic from the purpose of this journal, but I saw this wonderful quote today and had to write it down:

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own." -- Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

And in the beginning...

Hello friends and family,

For some time now, I've been meaning to start writing down my favorite Elliotisms and funny happenings, because I know my memory won't be the same forever. As the kids seem to have become exponentially more hilarious these last few weeks, it's time to start keeping track of this stuff. I will probably do some backdated entries for a bit as I catch up with recent funnies, but please check in from time to time and see what he kidlets are up to!

http://ETandAJ.blogspot.com

Streaking

I wish I had taken a picture of this one...

This afternoon I left Elliot out back for awhile to socialize with the fence boys. He came in and asked me to get out our sprinkler, because that's what they were doing in their backyard. Unfortunately, the hose out back is broken at the moment, so I had to decline his request. He went back outside -- and it was too quiet for a very long time.

I finally looked out back to check on him, and found him standing on top of his playhouse, completely nekkid, as the neighbor boys sprayed him with their hose over the fence.

"But mommy, " he protests, "I'm taking a shower!"

Spare a Square

Today I was, ahem, in the bathroom. Audrey wanders in, bats at the toilet paper a bit -- and then grabs the whole roll and runs off. Punk!!

Episode 3

I regret to post another occurrance in the potty saga...

For Elliot's birthday, I got him this little play grill off of eBay. It lights up and makes sizzling sounds when you open it, way cool. He immediately stole all the hot dog and hamburger buns in the pantry and took them outside so he could make food.

Later that night, I asked him if he had fun grilling and he informs me he "peed on the grill." Excuse me? I thought we'd already had this discussion. This time it's not as funny since I don't appreciate him treating his toys that way, especially a new gift.

Once again, I make a trip outside. I slowly pick up the grill so that I can bring it to the porch to clean it, and see no signs of moisture. However, stuffed in the little storage tray underneath, is the empty hot dog bun bag... now full of urine. Sigh.

Roughin' It

This is the incident that finally inspired me to get the blog going. I think we have told everyone we know about this little doozy already, but it must be preserved (especially for blackmail material later on).

Elliot spends a good part of his day in the backyard lately, talking with his fence buddies Arie and Grady. He has a little "campsite" set up in the corner under the trees, complete with tent and lawn chairs.

A couple times in a few days, Elliot makes passing comments about going potty outside. Okay, I think, no big deal. He's peed outside before in a couple emergencies; he's just pretending to really be camping. Then one morning, I hear him come in the kitchen, and I find him sitting on the floor struggling to pull up his jeans. I decide to go out and investigate.

I cautiously approach his campsite, and there on the ground, surrounding a tree stump, is a collection of LOGS. Not the kind made out of wood. And most appeared to have been there for awhile.

I came in the house, lectured Elliot as well as I could without bursting out laughing, then ran to the computer and anxiously IM'd Brad. It took me a good half hour to stop giggling spontaneously. "So if you're in the backyard, and you're confused as to why it looks like a dog has been here," I warned him, "Don't worry. It was just your son."

Episode 2:
Later that same afternoon, I go out back to play with Elliot as Audrey finishes her nap. He's loading his vast collection of handbags into the wagon, when I hear him mutter something about "I have to close the door so that it doesn't get stinky." In one horrifying flash I put two and two together, and open the storage compartment on the wagon to find, that's right, more logs among the old leaves trapped inside. This time I skip the lecture and go straight to IM Brad again, laughing until I cry.

For a good week, we wonder how many neighbors looked out their back window to see our boy with his pants down, dropping a load in his wagon.